A Few Hundred Other Things you Could Call a Theater Restaurant

The downstairs eatery at Actors Theatre of Louisville is under new management and has been renamed Milkwood, a title reminiscent of a Dylan Thomas play. (It’s only a matter of time before someone uses the phrase “undercooked Milkwood” in a review.)
The name of the previous restaurant in the space was Intermezzo, which is the title of a play by the French writer Jean Giraudoux.
Your humble correspondents (Lou and Chris) respectfully propose that, if this food place ever changes hands again, the owners consider the following theater-friendly monikers.
Once you digest these, add your own

Smokehouse of the August Moon
You Never Can Smell
Two Gentlemen With Coronas
How to Succeed With Brisket Without Really Trying
The Miracle Wok-er
A Raisin in the Scone
That Championship Seasoning
The Pork at the Top of the Stairs
You Can’t Bake It With You
The Food Person of Szechuan
Mother Porridge and Her Children
Fishsticks and Bones
For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Sushi When the Rainbow Trout is Enuf
Whose Life Cereal Is It Anyway?
Les Legumes Dangereuses
Joe Turnover’s Come and Gone
Two Eggs Running
Strawberry Glen Ross
Prelude to a Hershey Kiss
She Stews to Conquer
Knife Must Fall
My Fair Ladle
Other Dessert Cities
What the Butter Saw
On Golden Prawns
Absurd Persimmon Singular
P.S. Your Catch is Breaded
Speed the Plowman’s Lunch
Love, Consommé, Valour
How I Learned to Fry
The Kentucky Fried Chicken Cycle
Frost/Flakes
The Goat Cheese, or Who is Caerphilly?
By the Way, Meet Veal Scallopini
The Motherfucker With the Ham
Our Pantry’s Good
Something in the Pork With George
Do I Hear a Blintz?
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Fork
I Love You, You’re Parfait, Now Change
Breadfruit in the Park
The Pie Plates of Penzance
Jesus Christ Supper Star
Ladyfingers in the Dark
The Light in the Pizzeria
Long Beef Jerky Into Night
Crimes of the Artichoke Heart
Marinate Me a Little
[name of restaurant]
Cats-up
Starlight Espresso
I Am My Own Waiter
Hot Dog/Underdog
His Girl Fried Egg
The Effect of Gummi Bears on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds
Suddenly Last Simmer
Waiting for Iced-Tea
The Vegan Monologues
The Whipping Cream
Sister Dairy Ignatius Explains It All for You
Bunsense
Late Bite Catechism
Measure for Measuring Spoon
A White Mushroom Called Day
Angel Hair Pasta in America
Separate Steam Tables
Head Waiter and the Hungry Inch
Oh Dad Poor Dad, Mama’s Locked You in the Closet and I’m Feeling So Salad
Side Dish Man
Fudgy Meers
It’s a Bird… It’s a Plane… It’s Soup!
The Sound of Muesli
Fifty Million French Fries
Kiss Me Cake
Grey Poupon Gardens
The Scottsboro Po’ Boys
Toll House of Blue Leaves
Merrily We Long for a Roll
God of Carnivore
Death of an Ale Man
Mamma Meat-a
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Gravy Boat
Next to Caramel
Love’s Flavors Sauced
Spoon and Fork River Anthology
Cereal de Bergerac
Jam of the Ocean
The Menu That Came to Dinner
Fruit Tea and the Feast
Scones in His Pockets
The Dairy Queen of Lenane
Spiced Pork if You Can Get It
My Wonton and Only
The Puppetry of the Peanut Brittle
Same Time Next Meal
Hello,Doily!
Travels With My Antipasto
Having Our Satay
Always… Pastry Cline
Moon Over Buffalo Wing
All in the Trimmings
Farms and the Man
A Day in the Death of Boiled Egg
Three Days of Grain
M. Butter
The Intelligent Dine of Jenny Chow
Mystery of Edwin’s Food
The Baltimore Crab Waltz
Edible Rex
Plate Until Dark
Truffle on the Stairs
Fedea
Moon Pie for the Misbegotten
Book of Marmite
A Flea in Her Soup
Cactus Flour
Hungry the Fifth
All’s Well That Eats Well
Butterfly Shrimp Are Free
Caramel Corn or Change
Ah, Chilled Anise!
Plating for Godot
Homemade/Kibble
Our American Cuisine
Everyflan
Broth-ello
Tart-uffe
The Whey of the World
Spring’s a Baking Pan
The Importance of Bean Earnest
The Star-Spangled Grill
Annie Get Your Grub
The Devil’s Food Disciple
Biloxi Blue Plate
Major Barbacoa
Uncommon Women and Hors D’oeuvres
The Government Meat Inspector
Rabe Lincoln in Illinois
Agnes of Cod
Corn Yesterday
Twelve Angry Menus
Bus Slop
A Doll’s Specialty of the House
Trial by Du Joury
The Milk Train Stops Here
Arsenic and Old Lay’s Potato Chips
The Best Manwich
The Boysenberry in the Band
Lornadoone!
The Children’s Menu Hour
Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean Sausage Jimmy Dean Sausage
Curse of the Carving Class
Fool for Loaves
Fries and Dolls
Come Back, Little Sherbet
A Chew from the Bridge
Man of La Mangia
Laughter in the 23rd Course
Les Vegetables
Strange Interfood
Crock of Ages
Private Loaves
West Side Dish Story
Chef Boyardeesire Under the Elms
Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern Are Bread
The Unsinkable Molly’s Browning Dish
Candied
Candied-a
A Touch of the Pot
Ma Rainey’s Rack of Lamb
Sippin
Fries in the Mirror
The Philadelphia Cheesesteak Story
The Play About the Baby Corn
Curlyfriesburly
Marat/Saag
Dutch-oven-man
Bell Peppers Are Ringing
Voy-check, Please
Seven Charbroilers in Search of an Author
Exit the Cooking
Corianderolanus
Julius Caesar Salad
The Meringue of Bette And Boo
Timon of Kitchens
Midsummer Night’s Dreamsicle
Royal Hunt of the Sun Chips

… And, in honor of the Humana Festival of New American Placemats:
Gnosh
Sleep Rock Thy Bran
Fry Old Kingdom
Frappe-propriate
The Delling Short Ribs
O Luau Luau Luau, Or Why I Don’t Want to Go to Cooking Class With You
Edith Can Sauté Things and Eat Them
Cremes of the Heart
Elemeno Pea Soup
Maple Syrup and Vine
The Cherry Pie Sisters Revisited
bobevansamerica
The Ginger Game
Diner With Frites
One Flea Spare Rib
The Basting Cage
Key Lime Pie and Du
Tent Eating
Expand the Belt

Comments

  1. Marion Garmel says:

    You guys are crazy. But it has been a pleasure reading your blogs. This is a great idea.

  2. Linda Fowler says:

    Time to raid the kitchen for The Last of the Red Hots

  3. Elizabeth Rounsavall says:

    Aunt Imogen (@imogenhh) suggests “Exit, pursued by a beer.”

  4. Painful. But funny. Can I get permission to reprint an edited (and credited) version on my blog TheatrePlaybyPlay.com?

Trackbacks

  1. […] colleague Lou Harry is one heckuva wordsmith — and he’s always up for a creative challenge.  In that spirit, I asked him to write […]

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